Whether you’ve been in a long term relationship for years, crushing on someone new, still playing the field, or happily flying solo, your sex life deserves to take center stage. Prioritizing your own sexual health can have so many benefits and improve your mental health as well. Consider it a different form of self care. This can mean how you approach sexual pleasure emotionally, and the tools and treats you provide yourself with to enjoy it.
How to Prioritize Pleasure
Regardless if you have a partner or you’re enjoying the pleasure of your own company, remember to differentiate pleasure from sex. There are so many ways to produce a pleasureful experience that doesn’t involve penatrative sex. But, no matter what it looks like, you have to make time for it.
In this era of being constantly busy, sometimes we need to make the time instead of just spontaneously hoping things like sex will make time for themselves. You could try setting your alarm 30 minutes early, or go to bed intentionally early to spend some quality time with your partner or alone. By segmenting time specifically for sexual pleasure, you’ll never just forget, as well as give yourself a chance to look forward to it. Sometimes our bodies are up for it even when our brains aren’t. This is especially true for women, who often need some stimulation to create arousal, rather than the other way around.
Just like developing better-for-you eating and exercise routines, getting into the habit of having more (and better) sex and pleasure will take time and commitment before it always feels easy and natural. But, your sexual health is just as important as your mental health and physical health—so don’t neglect that part of yourself.
Another easy way to make sure you’re prioritizing your sexual health? Making sure your nightstand is fully stocked with all the goods you need to make it the best experience ever.
Must Have Products For Your Nightstand
1. Candle
Candles are a great way to set the mood –– any mood! It’s also an alternative to adding a little light without opening the curtains or turning on bright lights. Whether you’re looking to relax alone or reconnect with a partner, keep one or two of your favorite scents on your nightstand ready to go. Jasmine, rose, vanilla, saffron, and sandalwood are a few fragrances known to also be aphrodisiacs. Splurge and choose candles in a beautiful container to match your decor. Just don’t forget to stash some matches or a lighter in your drawers.
2. Lotion
Be like every rom com woman getting into bed at night, lotioning her whole body. Stash a tube in your drawer, or find a lotion in a gorgeous bottle to keep on top of your nightstand for easy access. Lotion is a wonderful way to reconnect with yourself and partner through touch. Whether you’re self massaging, or it’s part of foreplay, this is a great way to relax and get in touch with your erogenous zones.
3. Massage Oil
If you really want to up the ante on touch, keep a small bottle of massage oil in your drawer. Just a few drops is all you need. You can also double duty out of your candle by trying a massage candle. The wax melts into an oil, which helps set or keep the mood going.
4. After Sex Panties
No need to ruin the mood for an immediate bathroom run. No more fighting over the wet spot on the bed. Keeping a pair or two of leak-proof underwear in your nightstand is a total pro move. Proof undies are equipped with antimicrobial lining to inhibit the growth of bacteria and help reduce odor. They’re comfy enough to lounge or sleep in, and are cute enough to spark another round. They double as your go-to period panties and can be great for wicking sweat while working out. Try The Lace Back Bikini or The Lace Cheeky.
5. Books
Erotica books are a great addition to any nightstand to help get you in the mood. According to a scientific study by researcher Harold Leitenberg of The Journal of Sex Research, women who read romance or erotic novels have an astounding 74 percent more sex with their partners than those who don't. This is likely because women fantasize more frequently and have more intense and realistic fantasies when they read suggestive content.
Not only do women readers potentially have more sex, but they often have better sex because they and their partners are more adventurous and playful. More importantly, they help women to feel that what they are thinking and feeling is not necessarily wrong and that there are others who have similar feelings.
6. Toys
Whether you’re single or partnered, a long-term lover of all things sex toy or a vibe novice, you need at least one. They are always ready to play – as long as you keep them charged, of course, and they are equally fun whether you’re playing alone or with someone else. No matter how great someone is in bed, no human is as exacting or tireless as a vibrator. They’re usually so small, you can manage to sneak in a few to mix it up!
7. Lube
You don’t have to “need” lube to “need” lube. That is, just because you produce it naturally, does not mean a little extra won’t make sexual experiences a whole lot better. Some of them even taste good! Just be sure if you’re using latex condoms that you use a water or silicone based lube.
8. Condoms
You may or may not need these, but it’s never a bad idea to keep a few, or the contraception of your choice, on hand just in case.
9. Eye Mask
A small item that does double duty, eye masks are great for both sex and sleep! Use as a blindfold for foreplay and to help you fall blissfully to sleep after sex.
10. Candy
Ok, so maybe you don’t need to keep candy in your nightstand, but who can argue that a sweet treat isn’t a fun addition to foreplay, after sex, or even for no reason at all.
Your bedroom is your sanctuary, after all. Make sure it’s fully stocked 😘
